Forgiving the Unforgivable
I have learned, that the person I have to ask for forgiveness from the most is: myself. You must love yourself. You have to forgive yourself, everyday, whenever you remember a shortcoming, a flaw, you have to tell yourself “That’s just fine”. You have to forgive yourself so much, until you don’t even see those things anymore. Because that’s what love is like.
C. JoyBell C.
The questions was posed, how do you forgive the unforgivable?
For me personally, the hardest person I’ve had to forgive is myself. I’ve done things in my life that I am not proud of. Things that have been thoughtless, inconsiderate, and even cruel. One of these moments was when I cheated on someone I loved . This action of cheating changed my life in a way that I will never forget. I had been talking to this young man for sometime prior to him asking me to be his “girlfriend”. I knew I shouldn’t have said yes, but like any love sick girl I did. A year into the relationship I began to feel the Holy Spirit pressing on my heart to break up with him. But, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. During this time I had began a new job. I began to get noticed by a man that was older than me, I enjoyed the attention at the time.
Long story short, I cheated emotionally and physically with this man. And my “boyfriend” at the time found out . I never imagined cheating on this young man. I thought I would spend my life with him, but God knew it was time to end the relationship. Soon after the break up. I began to go to counseling and seek help to why I cheated . It stemmed from a bigger issue. A daughter growing up in a fatherless home, searching for love in men, and trying to find out who I am in Christ. I remember crying myself to sleep every night, then it turned to crying every 3 days, then once a week. I was in a cycle of my own pain. It took me two years to forgive myself for the pain I put this young man through and my disobedience to Christ. I’m not happy I hurt this young man, but this season of my life changed me from the inside out.
Growing up without a father shaped me in a way that begged for love. But, when I opened my heart to God. He was the father figure I always needed. Even though this is a story of self forgiveness it reminds me of the parable of the lost sheep.
Mathew 18:12-14. (NIV)
What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.
When the relationship ended I felt so lost, I didn’t know who I was without this young man. I deposited my whole self into this relationship and I was left lost. If you’re reading this and you haven’t forgiven someone or even yourself. I pray that you work on forgiving the wrong that has happened. It won’t be easy, MOST days it will be harder than others. Bring it to the father above, it was the only way for me to forgive myself. And it’s still the way I forgive myself daily, God wants to love us with an everlasting love. He wants to forgive us.
Mathew 6:14 (NIV)
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you